it's my yearversary

it's been a year since i moved to new york. that's twelve months. fifty two weeks. three hundred sixty five days. eight thousand seven hundred sixty five hours. five hundred twenty five thousand nine hundred ninety four minutes (rent LIES). which is just crazy.

if you had told me a year ago...
that i would live in harlem, dealing with five am ragers at the crazy asians upstairs and inebriated loiterers passed out, maybe (hopefully?) still breathing, on my front porch
that i would have my dream job where, yes, i can wear shorts and, yes, i can sleep in and, yes, i can read all day
that i would become obsessed with karaoke, spending probably hundreds of dollars on in and becoming such a regular that the owner recognizes me
that i would gain ten pounds (okay, maybe 15 on a bad day) from all the great food and literally (literally, i say!) irresistible treats and that i would feel pretty okay about it
that i would have countless friends come and countless friends go (interns are the worst)
that i would go to concerts and broadway shows and hipster JP-themed performances
that i would see the dc cherry blossoms and spend a weekend living large in the hamptons and get stuck in an elevator in philly aka the worst place on earth
that i would be going to malta because why the #$!!?@ not   
that i would meet Nick Offerman and Keenan and see BJ Novak and Al Roker and Nick Lachey and Tracy Morgan and Emma Stone and that one dude in pretty little liars
that i would meet--nay, hang out--nay, party with--nay, befriend TAYLOR FREAKIN SWIFT

...i would have called you crazy.

(still don't believe it.)

and yet, here we are.

i mean, a year ago in utah, finishing at byu, wondering what on earth to do, life was all...

and when i finally decided to just up and move, there were haters to deal with. naysayers to ignore. good-intentioned worriers to soothe. ignorant doubters to scoff at. incredulous disbelievers being all "but you're not even married yet" which was just like...

and to them (and that little part of me who doubted i could actually make it) there's only one thing to really say:

#nothingbutlove  #butseriously 

i remember being so scared last year. you know, so long ago. i wrote in my diary "growing up is weird. because you don't really feel it happening. it's just, one day you're looking back and you realize everything has just changed." and that was overwhelming, the openendedness. i was really scared of new york. of acting grown up. of leaving everything familiar for somewhere i'd never been before. and this has been the craziest, scariest, most stressful, hardest, and exhausting year of my life. but it has also been--and i'm not trying to be dramatic here--but it has been the most amazing and singularly happiest year of my life.

and i owe it all to...well, everyone.

for everyone back home who supported me and loved me and visited me (i try not to have favorites, but i mean...), i have to say thank you. i couldn't have done it without that pre-game pep talk (justin), or that first phone call where you pretended not to hear me sobbing (cait), or the proof of income (dad), or the panicked "are you alive?!" texts (mom), or the letters assuring me i had a pretty put-together life (lars), or that money for my fashion makeover (melbran), or the on-the-road-but-i-guess-i'll-talk-to-you phone calls (trav), or the t-rex et al photographic updates (abby), or the first visit just because that was everything awesome (ash). really, all i can say is thank heavens for FaceTime and group messages. you guys are the best and i love you (even if i still hate utah).

and to all my friends out here. thank you doesn't even begin to cover it. i could spend this whole blog giving shout outs (but that's not good edicut), so just know y'all are errythang.

this year has been...awesome? unforgettable? amazing? i mean, really, it comes down to the age-old question: how do you measure a year in the life?

how about .... karaoke, road trips--fruit snacks!, baked-by-tom cookies, seamless, donuts and dance parties, "all roads lead to molly's," mormon drunk, brooklyn we go hard, badminton, feminist plays, "just friends inviting friends," kiss marry kill, dough, institute (penis mascots?), subway leg lifts, brunch, "wall blasted with single air rifle pellet": art, cereal parties, shnugs!, "you're ducking worth it," tram rides and lighthouses, "it's not chocolate," waffles, the PPC, "does this feel like an old man gnawing on your knee?," just dance, CONFETTI, betelehemu, heads up, bad kisses, good cuddles, "i like the way you freestyle dance," tater tots, credit card!, the movie bag, "did he go deep?", tri-state hold em/three's a crowd/black diamond head/the loser game, MASH, "you have a really high metabolism," beyonce + golf = winning, crotch guitar, girl scout cookies, murals, 90s dance parties, sleepovers, "caesar...loves...humans," group messages, asian tourists, #tourguidetom, "let's keep in touch," puppy parades, nipply weather, "i didn't invite them i added them," linger longers, grouplove, movie screenings, "kaaaaate," teacups!, jesus count, reeses oreos, "you guys have a lot of inside jokes," sunday dinners, fork it all the way, nncce nnce nnce, TBH IMHO MRW, broken elevators, photo ops, ...more karaoke (#noshame)

if you can't tell....

so, yeah, it happened. one year older and wiser (maybe) too. this year has reminded me, again and again, that life is meant to be lived. hard and fast. because it's not the years in your life, but the life in your years that count. #preach

ya dig? i survived. i conquered. i KILLED it. ohh yeah.

TL;DR: i lasted a year, people. one whole year. so here's to another. i'm coming for you.