it's gonna be mey

it's almost my birthday! which makes it almost the greatest time of year! which is doubly true because it's almost may! so on this the first of the month of me--err, i mean may--i thought it would be appropriate to celebrate all things awesome.

*aka things that just happen to be on my brain right this second. as this is the most random post i've ever written.

one, my job. i haven't been fired yet, which i view as a major success. in fact, i have finally been given a desk. what! moving up in the world, i know. after months (has it really been motnhs??) of moving around playing some variation of musical chairs, i've been given a beautiful new desk. and i feel oh-so-good about this.

two, this month! oh my goodness oh my goodness! the things i have planned! karaoke! dancing! donuts! montauk! godzilla! it doesn't get better than this.

three, the weather is (sort of) getting better. after the winter from HELL, i finally put my coat away and i'm usually fine about this. sure, it's pouring rain at a miserable 45 degrees. but did i let that stop me from buying summer shorts? no! did i let that stop me from setting an appointment for a summer haircut? no! take back the weather, guys! show mother nature who is boss!

* just kidding, mama nature. i respect your power and might and bow down to your will, only praying and pleading that that might come to include anything above the 70s

four, it's almost my birthday! on may 8, i'll be 23. which is equal parts so totally young and surprisingly old. i mean, not old old. but...it's a big number. especially considering my mind still hasn't rebooted from that whole big step of going to college at 18. sometimes i forget how old i am. as in...i just don't consider it. like, not that i think i'm still 18 or that i should be 25. just that i feel nondescript about it. and then when i have to actually think about it, i find myself surprised. 23?! but even in those moments i'm unable to decide if that seems younger or older than i expected. such is life.

five, i watched the newest trailer for The Fault In Our Stars and, yeah, i still cry. in the trailer. which makes me soooooo excited for the movie! there's an early showing this weekend (as in a month early) that i'm determined to go to. please? pretty please, universe? it's my birthday! #itsgonnabemey

six, i'm really starting to run out of things to say. but i am just so happy and high on lyyyfe that i feel like i can't stop.

seven, see six again. also, i don't like even numbers.

so there. that's a catch up on life. and an introduction to the greatest month full of the most fabulous adventures! so expect more. lots more. cuz it only goes up from here.

*hopefully.

#tbt

Throwback to that time I was in DC and life was literally all sunshine and roses--well, blossoms anyway.

And I was sitting on a bench minding my own business...

Well, let's just tell the story. It starts basically here:

so once upon a time I was sitting on a bench under the magnolia trees posing for Casey, because #obvs (if you follow me on facebook, you know how these turned out--and they were fabulous). suddenly, this Asian couple comes up and the woman just sits down on the bench impressively close to me. my groove was definitely thrown off, but i'm flexible (in a purely metaphorical sense).

well, the man gets in photo-taking position and, waving wildly at me, he goes "picture? picture?" knowing the beauty of the background, I understandingly stand to move. but the man shakes his hand--wildly again--and is like "no no. with you. stay stay!"

whaaaaaat is happening?

at this point, I don't even know what to do. my compatriots are laughing at me. the Asians ask casey to sit too, but she refuses (racist.). and i'm just hanging out on this bench wondering what the proper etiquette is. do I get closer? do I smile at the camera? do I make it a Kodak moment and look away? am I supposed to sidle up to the woman so we look like friends?

no clue.

so I basically plaster something to my face--something between a smile and a grimace, with just a hint of a guffaw.

they got their picture. said thanks. I said you're welcome? and then they were gone. maybe I look famous. maybe my winter whiteness was such a novelty. maybe they saw my self-directed photo shoot so just assumed I was important. or maybe they just really wanted an authentic catalogue of their every moment in dc.

in any case, there is a photo of me uncomfortable and awkward floating out there. 

well, let's be real, that's nothing new (see above).   

when a line hits you right in the heart.

i saw the most beautiful poem today. just on a scrap of paper, forgettable amongst the pretty postcards and flyers it was pinned by. and i don't really like poetry. i'm too impatient to really read it. or consider it. or think about it. or care. but i think i just found my most favorite poem in the history of all poems (step aside, dr. seuss).

perfection wasted. by john updike.

And another regrettable thing about death
is the ceasing of your own brand of magic,
which took a whole life to develop and market —
the quips, the witticisms, the slant
adjusted to a few, those loved ones nearest
the lip of the stage, their soft faces blanched
in the footlight glow, their laughter close to tears,
their tears confused with their diamond earrings,
their warm pooled breath in and out with your heartbeat,
their response and your performance twinned.
The jokes over the phone. The memories packed
in the rapid-access file. The whole act.
Who will do it again? That's it: no one;
imitators and descendants aren't the same.

 
life is too short, guys. don't make it forgettable. yolo. (this last line is not part of the poem. in case you were wondering.)