Monday, November 24, 2014

isn't it about...time?

i really haven't been in the mood to write here. which is too bad because it's been a really fun month. like...really good.

except the weather. but we don't talk about that.

but it's been fun. it's cool to have reached a year mark, getting to re-experience things again. like, i can finally be like "oh, i love fall/winter in the city because this happens and this happens and remember when that happened?" there's a sense of nostalgia and experience. history is repeating itself in the best way and it's a little surreal.

like, how is 2014 almost over? i remember thinking it was weird that it was 2014...and now the year's almost over and it's almost 2015 and everything's moving too fast and if i think about it too hard my face will just permanently morph into the surprise face emoji because i just can't even. but in all seriousness, i don't think time has moved slowly since freshman year of college. that first semester, i felt like all i had was time. it was easy, breezy, beautiful. a lazy summer that just went on for eternity.

and then life picked up and time never slowed down again. everything blurs together until i'm looking back and i'm like "was that really a year ago?" yes, yes it was. but if that horrible justin timberlake movie in time taught me anything (and it really didn't) (but if it did), it's that time is i've been cashing it in on some good experiences. there were a lot of good times this year (and a lot of money spent too) (heyo). malta, knicks, hamptons. grouplove. philly. dc. rockettes. yankees. karaoke. coney. christmas. there was just a lot going on. all the time. but i think the more important lesson of this fast-paced, crazy-fueled, fun-times-had year came from an actual good movie about time, conveniently called about time, that taught me a lot (go figure) about time. (go watch it ) (it's honestly good) (honestly).

it's about a SPOILER ALERT time traveler who wants nothing more than a beautiful life, so his father tells him to live each day like anyone else, but then go back in time to repeat each day in order to recognize all the good things you may have missed the first time around. but of course things go awry and it's not always feasible to travel back in time (just ask harry potter). so the real takeaway, for the time traveler and for me, was something more realistic (at least for those of us without time traveling talents):
the truth is i now don't travel back at all, not even for the day. i just try to live every day as if i've deliberately come back tot his one day, to enjoy it, as if it was the full final day of my extraordinary, ordinary life.

we're all traveling through time together, every day of our lives. all we can do is do our best to relish this remarkable ride. 
*my heart strings* 

so...just living deliberately. happily. remarkably. extraordinarily. wholly. that's what i've been working on. just finding happiness--and looking for it in even the most unhappy times. and i haven't always gotten it right (this year has been hard, too). but i think the reason this has been the happiest year of my life isn't just because of all the things that have happened or all the places i have been or even all the people i've been lucky enough to meet. it's because, deliberately, i've been trying to be happier.

and SPOILER ALERT it works.

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