the best of: 2014

it's a week into 2015 and, honestly, i'm still in denial about it.

brain. cannot. compute.

maybe because for the last week of 2014 i was reeling with a nasty nauseating cold/flu/nightmare from hell thing. but also maybe because this year has been chock full of such vivid memories, i really can't believe it's been a year since some of them happened. like, usually a year is a mess of hazy recollections i can't really keep sorted. but this has been a perfectly wonderful, entirely unforgettable year filled with high highs and not too many low lows.

#winning.

and i might be late to the game, but i really like doing these year-in-review posts. one, because i'm a horribly good bragger and two, i love talking about myself (see: one).

hence the blogging. in general. you know.

so here we have a look back at the very best 2014 had to offer. and maybe it's not strictly just the best, more just general word vomit of all the great things that happened this year. because that's  how i do. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

january

my brother travis got married. which means i got miss abbey as a sister. FOREVER. if that's not cause for celebration, i don't know what is. i mean, just look at the love!

look at how she completes the family! (minus laura, who couldn't be there because #priorities but was there in spirit and that's almost the same thing.)

but even beyond the sentimentality of the whole thing, their wedding was beautiful and fun and full of dancing and family and food. aka my happy place.

february
probably the singularly most important moment of my life.....i got a job (an emotional achievement you can read more about here and here). and it's got me all like #seriouslysoblessed because i can't believe 1) i'm a grownup 2) i work in new york city 3) i got a dream job that is even better than i dreamed it.  i work with authors i admire so, you know, i can get pics of nick offerman. because we're just close like that. and i go to fab parties and say things like "no wine, thanks. i'll just have a coke." with a subtle hair toss thrown in. and i have cool grownup things like coworkers and friends. exhibit a:

(please note this picture wasn't take in february. this was after i made friends at work. and that takes time. but i wanted a visual. so, i'll allow it.)

also, ash came to visit thus solidifying her status as THE BEST. thanks, ash! we celebrated my new found employment with lots of pizza and donuts and too much train riding. (imho.) still, we took epic photos showing off our photogenicness. exhibit b:

march
this is usually a joke of a month. (i dare you to find somebody who likes it). but it was actually pretty fun. there was pi day and dessert haunts and like-kids-in-a-toy-store and all that. but mostly i went to my first concert in forever and it was amazing. i liked grouplove before (hence, you know, buying the tickets in the first place) but i'm obsessed with them now. it was such a good show. even with that sickly sweet, sweaty smell of pot. just...so much pot.

april
i went with a bunch of friends to see the cherry blossoms. and it lived up to the hype.
i loved it. being in a car, singing songs, eating fruit snacks, taking too many pictures, posing with the blossoms. it was a good weekend. you can read about some fun times there here. oh, dc. you with your wide streets and short buildings and long crosswalk time. i really do love you. 

may
IT WAS MY BIRTHDAY!! and as i am a narcissist (see: this post), i made sure it was chock full of fun happenings. i.e., hanging out with nick offerman, having a donut-making party, and going to the hamptons. because aint nobody fresher than my clique.

june
summer came a little late, but the heat and the sunshine finally came, so a bunch of us made the trek down to coney island. because, you know, it's not summer until you have some cotton candy and ride the teacups. at least according to me, and that's all that matters here.

also some friends and i rallied some twenty-some friends to go to a yankees game. and it was so fun. the sun was shining - like, really shining - and the grass was green - probably because it was fake - and it was just so american.i've never been happier.*

*at a baseball game

july
i had this brilliant idea to leave the city for the fourth. because i'm a basic beezy. originally we planned on boston, but weather didn't cooperate and so plans changed to philly. and philly...was the worst, as previously discussed. like, the worst. but also unforgettable. but mostly the pits. but i still love the memories. but they're literally the worst.

still, america + friends + funnel cake - purse stealing / weepy mess * broken elevator + so many lols + jumping photos = a "good" time.

i dunno. i'm still not sold on the adjective.

also memorable and meaningful, kate moved in. this picture was the beginning of the end. or the beginning. or whatever.

just look at that. she could never resist that.

august
two words: taylor swift.

she had stiff competition, what, with my little sister coming home (!!) and coming to see me (!!!). but...i mean...it was taylor swift. and we danced together. and i fixed her dress tag. and we partied in her kitchen. and i held her cat. and it was just the most surreal day of my life. and so random and unforgettable and unbelievably happy. i mean, just look at this. pure, giddy, unadulterated joy. that's what that is.

but laura was such a doll, too. and in the words of taylor swift, i had the best day with you [all the days you were here].

september
so i don't know if you heard, but i went to malta. and i died. it was amazing. even with the jet lag and the sunburn and the sad excuse for public transportation, i was constantly in awe. i'm going to say this once - and i might completely take it back later - but if given the opportunity to go back to london or malta...i'd probably choose malta.

that felt like such a betrayal.

but i mean it! it was so unique, so different, so cool, so beautiful, so awe inspiring, so strange and fresh and strangely ugly/beautiful and new and unforgettable. and istanbul was also amazing. just as an fyi.

october
fall in new york might be my favorite. it's just so much fun. and october was so much fun. a bunch of us went to sleepy hollow, just cuz. we saw foster the people at the coolest venue i've ever been to. we threw an unbelievably unforgettable halloween party that was just too perfect to even try and capture in photos. i got to dress up as dr. sattler (as in jp) so i was very much in my happy place. and it was a dance party. that got shut down for being too loud. so, bucket list = uh, check.

but the best moment of october had to be taylor swift's gma concert at times square. and not because of taylor. in fact, it was pretty awful. gma/new york sucks at organizing events. like, legitimately.

we were in line around 5 am - and the concert wasn't until 9 - and we were pumped and killing it at sneaking closer and closer. but it was cold and we were tired and these horrible people were holding up stupid signs blocking the view. and we finally got to the front of one barrier only to realize there was still a road open. so people just passing by at a not-ungodly morning hour had better views than us. the fury. and then the photographers blocked our view. the volume was way too low. and taylor only sang three songs. but still. it was so fun. we were way too energetic and happy for how awful it was. but that's just how we do. cuz the concert's gonna suck suck suck and the sound is gonna be down down down down, but i'm just gonna shake shake shake shake shake - shake it off! shake it off!

(that song will never not bring a smile to my face).(some people might not agree).

november
i went and saw american authors and they were great. they're cheesy, sure, and not especially unique. but, man, can they put on a good show. it was so good. so good! they are ridiculously good live. and that confetti! and the final surge to the stage! it was delirious.

but it was not the best moment of november. no, nay, never. november will forever be remembered as the birth of the west village hero.

i'll spare you the details. expect to say once upon a time, a few ordinary people went to a 1940s themed dance. and though they looked like this...

it would be much more that changed. for on our walk to the old fashioned soda shop hidden away in the west village, a hero was born. no, discovered. and the rest of us would never be the same. Rachel Barlow, mvp.

december
tbh november was more christmasey than december. december was stressful for the most part, and somehow exhausting. but i did get a christmas bonus (#grownupstatus!) and i did have some fun times haunting trees and seeing ballets and building gingerbread temples and meeting santa and, oh yeah, jimmy fallon was awesome.

but nothing beats going home. sure, i got sick. like, deathly ill. and christmas was kind of the worst in that regard. but i was home. home with my puppies and my family and my cafe rio and my carpet. and all was right in the world.

there was heads up, blindfolded pictionary, movies, lunch dates, dinner dates, dance parties. but nothing beats the momentous and important introduction of the selfie stick.

it was family time and so it was perfect. i love these guys. every single one of them. people say we look alike (i don't see the resemblance) but the important thing is we aren't alike. we're just a bunch of unique snowflakes rocking at this whole life thing in various different ways. and though i'm trying to convince them the east coast is where it's at (no luck yet. them and their mountains.), i am excited for all the memories we have yet to make together. cuz i love them, dang it. i mean, come on. just look at them.

how can you even fight that loving feeling?

boyers are the best. i'm sorry, it's just true.

so, 2014 did a pretty good job at outshining even the greatness of 2013. i have never been happier. and i can't believe all the life this year packed in. i mean, long live that look on your face #amiright

and, though it's weird to say and i still forget to write it, i can't wait to see what 2015 has in store.

fingers crossed it's hoverboards.

2k14 Awards

2014 has been good to me. i started wearing more lipstick, tried doing my nails more. i gave up on leggings but discovered knee high socks. a lot of dreams came true and some old ones got deferred. i did things i never thought i would and fell in love with things i'd always thought i'd hate. there were new friends, old connections, rekindled romances (just kidding about that last one). i stopped journaling but i should pick it up again. i learned a lot, the hard way and the easy way. i think i changed but i still love puppies more than anything.

all in all, it's been a good year. a hazy, frenzied, challenging, comfortable one all at once. i sometimes forget i'm only 23, but it's like amy poehler said: you're never too young to be very wise.

self-five.

but before i go through the minute details of a fabulous year, i thought i'd share the minutiae of my year in review. because i'm easily excitable. if you didn't know.

best song: taking into account my ability to listen to it endlessly, sing along passionately, turning to it desperately - and happily - throughout the year...i'm gonna go with "i wanna get better" by bleachers. but for purely sentimental reasons i can't beat "shake it off"

best album: i may be biased but 1989 is really all that and a bag of chips.

best film: there weren't many great films this year - or at least i didn't get around to seeing them yet. but i really loved the lego movie. which i am not at all ashamed of. and dawn of the planet of the apes was truly - how you say? - unforgettable.

best tv: it's parenthood's last season and it's made me a weepy mess.

best show: the other mozart - this amazing one-woman show about mozart's equally talented but sexistly forgotten sister

favorite celebrity: taylor swift. the songs! sass! the slayage! the self-made success! hear her roar, amiright? also, bff status.

high: emma watson's #heforshe speech

low: #handsupdontshoot #icantbreathe

new life philosophy: forget the games, the expectations, the ideas of who i should be and what i should like and how i should act. you do you and i'll do me.

favorite quote: "i may not have gone where i intended to go, but i think i've ended up where i needed to be" - douglas adams.

best book: i loved eleanor and park. also, my coworker is repping this new ya novel coming out called all the bright places and it's so wonderfully good so just read it okay? okay.

best trip: malta, obviously. but i also loved our blitz through istanbul.

greatest concert: grouplove. i didn't know how much i loved them until i saw them live. and now the memory of that show is one of my favorite.

makeup must: NARS velvet matte lip pencils. especially never say never. lifetime supply, please!

fashion favorite: skater skirts

better with: karaoke is my eureka.

better without: caring so much about what people think of me

wish list item: this gramophone for the iphone

biggest temptation: buying concert tickets for the bleachers nyc show in april. likelihood of me giving in to said temptation? 100%. totally weak-willed here. and have you heard them?? they're awesome! UPDATE: i totally bought them. (note to self, don't contemplate ticket purchases while listening to band)

isn't it about...time?

i really haven't been in the mood to write here. which is too bad because it's been a really fun month. like...really good.

except the weather. but we don't talk about that.

but it's been fun. it's cool to have reached a year mark, getting to re-experience things again. like, i can finally be like "oh, i love fall/winter in the city because this happens and this happens and remember when that happened?" there's a sense of nostalgia and experience. history is repeating itself in the best way and it's a little surreal.

like, how is 2014 almost over? i remember thinking it was weird that it was 2014...and now the year's almost over and it's almost 2015 and everything's moving too fast and if i think about it too hard my face will just permanently morph into the surprise face emoji because i just can't even. but in all seriousness, i don't think time has moved slowly since freshman year of college. that first semester, i felt like all i had was time. it was easy, breezy, beautiful. a lazy summer that just went on for eternity.

and then life picked up and time never slowed down again. everything blurs together until i'm looking back and i'm like "was that really a year ago?" yes, yes it was. but if that horrible justin timberlake movie in time taught me anything (and it really didn't) (but if it did), it's that time is money...so i've been cashing it in on some good experiences. there were a lot of good times this year (and a lot of money spent too) (heyo). malta, knicks, hamptons. grouplove. philly. dc. rockettes. yankees. karaoke. coney. christmas. there was just a lot going on. all the time. but i think the more important lesson of this fast-paced, crazy-fueled, fun-times-had year came from an actual good movie about time, conveniently called about time, that taught me a lot (go figure) about time. (go watch it ) (it's honestly good) (honestly).

it's about a SPOILER ALERT time traveler who wants nothing more than a beautiful life, so his father tells him to live each day like anyone else, but then go back in time to repeat each day in order to recognize all the good things you may have missed the first time around. but of course things go awry and it's not always feasible to travel back in time (just ask harry potter). so the real takeaway, for the time traveler and for me, was something more realistic (at least for those of us without time traveling talents):

the truth is i now don't travel back at all, not even for the day. i just try to live every day as if i've deliberately come back tot his one day, to enjoy it, as if it was the full final day of my extraordinary, ordinary life.

we're all traveling through time together, every day of our lives. all we can do is do our best to relish this remarkable ride. 

*my heart strings* 

so...just living deliberately. happily. remarkably. extraordinarily. wholly. that's what i've been working on. just finding happiness--and looking for it in even the most unhappy times. and i haven't always gotten it right (this year has been hard, too). but i think the reason this has been the happiest year of my life isn't just because of all the things that have happened or all the places i have been or even all the people i've been lucky enough to meet. it's because, deliberately, i've been trying to be happier.

and SPOILER ALERT it works.

travel bug

going to malta maybe changed my life. and i know i haven't talked about it here, mostly because i've beaten it over the head of anyone who interacts with me or my facebook. and it's a little late to write up a post about just how AWE-some malta was. but i don't even care. because, yes, malta was beautiful and interesting and diverse and it was liberating being there on my own terms and i definitely want to go back (really). but more than anything malta just made me realize...there's so much more i want to see.

this world is so big and vast and beautiful. it's indescribable and different. every corner, crack, and cranny holds something amazing. i loved every second of being lost in something so beyond me. no one there knew who i was (aside from my wonderful travel buddy). but what i mean is...no one had any idea who shelby was, what concerns and worries i felt shadowed or bogged down by. my problems weren't theirs. my dreams weren't theirs. i was merely a face in the crowd of their lives.

it was so absolutely freeing.

we can be pretty selfish people. and with good reason. (mostly.) i mean, this is our life--we only get one shot. we need to be concerned about us and what makes us happy and what gives our lives value. it's right to be aware of oneself. but it was also nice to be reminded that even if my life revolved around me, the whole world, in fact, did not. life in malta went on. life in new york went on. i just totally stepped out of it for a week, caught in the current of everyone else's orbits.

i think there's a reason people say they caught the travel bug or they suffer from wanderlust. because it does feel like a disease. something beyond your control. something that just happens and takes you and changes things. five years ago i thought there were only five places on earth i cared to see. i wanted to see new york, london, paris, italy, and egypt. that's all. i didn't get why i had to travel to appreciate the world. i had books! i had the internet! i had pictures! i didn't feel drawn to any place outside of my (very small) comfort zone.

well, that changed.

i went to london. then paris. i realized the world is pretty cool and maybe it would be fun to see more of it, but no big deal.

then i moved to new york. and i realized moving, going, seeing...it changes you. and i thought how amazing it was to be at this international hub with thousands of people coming and going. i wanted to be one of those people.

and then i went to malta. i rushed through istanbul. and i realized there's a big world out there and i'm desperate to see it all. if only to know what more it can do to me.

and this has all taught me three things: 1) travel changes you. it makes me feel strong, capable, brave. 2) traveling gets easier (no more throwing up on planes!) and so much more fun, and growing up is grand--i mean, look at how tiny and young i look in london compared to istanbul. is it just me? 3) I MUST SEE ALL THE PLACES!

i keep a list of travel destinations on my phone. just places i've always wanted to see or places i hear about or pictures i see and think "that looks amazing." and it's getting lengthy. and i get too excited about each one. and i'm already eager to plan my next trip. but the real question is...where?

i want to see...
new orleans
key west
boston
chicago
nashville
charleston
savannah
seattle
williamsburg
kauai (jp!!)
maine
virginia
alaska
the grand canyon
niagara falls

i want to go to...
the french riviera
vietnam
greece
egypt
spain
monaco
new zealand
iceland
morocco
italy
croatia
india
belize
bali
turkey
switzerland
amsterdam
bermuda
marseille
mexico
sweden
jamaica
portugal
vienna
caribbean
prague

i thought i could make a "30 before 30" travel list, but there's too many places i want to see. and so many different ways i want to see it all. one could say i'm young and restless. but i think that's okay. and even right. life shouldn't feel settled already. I'm barely 23, i have my whole life ahead of me, and, hey, i can sleep when i'm dead.

i've realized the world is my oyster and i really can do whatever i want because...it is my life. and that is such a scary, amazing, freeing thought. so i've seen bits of the world. i wouldn't call myself well-traveled or wordly. but i wish i was. because what i've seen so far amazes me. and it's changed me. i feel more capable, more brave, more me than i ever felt. i like who i've become and the openendedness of who i can yet be. and maybe that's dramatic and maybe life will get me down and i'll never see another place again. (knock on wood). but more and more my life's mantra can be summed up to simply "Life Wholly Lived."

i want a life of adventure. i want a world of discovery. i want immersion and escape. i want to feel and see and do and be. in the pages of this world and all its diversity, i want to find me. 

so...here's to that. vacations, amiright?

it's my yearversary

it's been a year since i moved to new york. that's twelve months. fifty two weeks. three hundred sixty five days. eight thousand seven hundred sixty five hours. five hundred twenty five thousand nine hundred ninety four minutes (rent LIES). which is just crazy.

if you had told me a year ago...
that i would live in harlem, dealing with five am ragers at the crazy asians upstairs and inebriated loiterers passed out, maybe (hopefully?) still breathing, on my front porch
that i would have my dream job where, yes, i can wear shorts and, yes, i can sleep in and, yes, i can read all day
that i would become obsessed with karaoke, spending probably hundreds of dollars on in and becoming such a regular that the owner recognizes me
that i would gain ten pounds (okay, maybe 15 on a bad day) from all the great food and literally (literally, i say!) irresistible treats and that i would feel pretty okay about it
that i would have countless friends come and countless friends go (interns are the worst)
that i would go to concerts and broadway shows and hipster JP-themed performances
that i would see the dc cherry blossoms and spend a weekend living large in the hamptons and get stuck in an elevator in philly aka the worst place on earth
that i would be going to malta because why the #$!!?@ not   
that i would meet Nick Offerman and Keenan and see BJ Novak and Al Roker and Nick Lachey and Tracy Morgan and Emma Stone and that one dude in pretty little liars
that i would meet--nay, hang out--nay, party with--nay, befriend TAYLOR FREAKIN SWIFT

...i would have called you crazy.

(still don't believe it.)

and yet, here we are.

i mean, a year ago in utah, finishing at byu, wondering what on earth to do, life was all...

and when i finally decided to just up and move, there were haters to deal with. naysayers to ignore. good-intentioned worriers to soothe. ignorant doubters to scoff at. incredulous disbelievers being all "but you're not even married yet" which was just like...

and to them (and that little part of me who doubted i could actually make it) there's only one thing to really say:

#nothingbutlove  #butseriously 

i remember being so scared last year. you know, so long ago. i wrote in my diary "growing up is weird. because you don't really feel it happening. it's just, one day you're looking back and you realize everything has just changed." and that was overwhelming, the openendedness. i was really scared of new york. of acting grown up. of leaving everything familiar for somewhere i'd never been before. and this has been the craziest, scariest, most stressful, hardest, and exhausting year of my life. but it has also been--and i'm not trying to be dramatic here--but it has been the most amazing and singularly happiest year of my life.

and i owe it all to...well, everyone.

for everyone back home who supported me and loved me and visited me (i try not to have favorites, but i mean...), i have to say thank you. i couldn't have done it without that pre-game pep talk (justin), or that first phone call where you pretended not to hear me sobbing (cait), or the proof of income (dad), or the panicked "are you alive?!" texts (mom), or the letters assuring me i had a pretty put-together life (lars), or that money for my fashion makeover (melbran), or the on-the-road-but-i-guess-i'll-talk-to-you phone calls (trav), or the t-rex et al photographic updates (abby), or the first visit just because that was everything awesome (ash). really, all i can say is thank heavens for FaceTime and group messages. you guys are the best and i love you (even if i still hate utah).

and to all my friends out here. thank you doesn't even begin to cover it. i could spend this whole blog giving shout outs (but that's not good edicut), so just know y'all are errythang.

this year has been...awesome? unforgettable? amazing? i mean, really, it comes down to the age-old question: how do you measure a year in the life?

how about .... karaoke, road trips--fruit snacks!, baked-by-tom cookies, seamless, donuts and dance parties, "all roads lead to molly's," mormon drunk, brooklyn we go hard, badminton, feminist plays, "just friends inviting friends," kiss marry kill, dough, institute (penis mascots?), subway leg lifts, brunch, "wall blasted with single air rifle pellet": art, cereal parties, shnugs!, "you're ducking worth it," tram rides and lighthouses, "it's not chocolate," waffles, the PPC, "does this feel like an old man gnawing on your knee?," just dance, CONFETTI, betelehemu, heads up, bad kisses, good cuddles, "i like the way you freestyle dance," tater tots, credit card!, the movie bag, "did he go deep?", tri-state hold em/three's a crowd/black diamond head/the loser game, MASH, "you have a really high metabolism," beyonce + golf = winning, crotch guitar, girl scout cookies, murals, 90s dance parties, sleepovers, "caesar...loves...humans," group messages, asian tourists, #tourguidetom, "let's keep in touch," puppy parades, nipply weather, "i didn't invite them i added them," linger longers, grouplove, movie screenings, "kaaaaate," teacups!, jesus count, reeses oreos, "you guys have a lot of inside jokes," sunday dinners, fork it all the way, nncce nnce nnce, TBH IMHO MRW, broken elevators, photo ops, ...more karaoke (#noshame)

if you can't tell....

so, yeah, it happened. one year older and wiser (maybe) too. this year has reminded me, again and again, that life is meant to be lived. hard and fast. because it's not the years in your life, but the life in your years that count. #preach

ya dig? i survived. i conquered. i KILLED it. ohh yeah.

TL;DR: i lasted a year, people. one whole year. so here's to another. i'm coming for you.

that time i met taylor

also known as "the greatest day of my life heretofore and ever after." cuz, frankly, that was the coolest experience of my life.

let me explain.

once upon a time, taylor was rumored to be releasing a new single at a yahoo live streaming event in nyc. i knew this and have been talking about it forever because, hello, i am human and i love everything taylor does. so when they announced the time and date, i definitely marked the calendar. and when they posted a contest for taylor's new york fans to see the show, it was definitely one of those things to make me go hmmm.

i read the terms of agreement (cuz i'm a super nerd like that) and saw that it wasn't a random drawing but that it would be based on your social media presence, enthusiam, and the general opinion of the judging board. whatever. (i didn't read it that closely) but it asked for your twitter account, instagram, and taylor nation account. and i'm like, lol, there's no chance i'm winning this because 1) i tweet about once a year 2) my instagram is much too self-obsessed to feature taylor and 3) wtf is taylor nation?

but it also asked for a 500 character essay. which, when it boils down to it, is about three sentences long. what did i say in this SPOILER ALERT award-winning essay?

...i have no idea. honestly, i don't remember. i wrote it in about five minutes, right there in the submissions form, so i never saved it. i remember saying something about being 23 just trying to grow up. i mentioned feminism and friendship. i made some snarky joke about how we wear the same clothes and have the same fabulous friends. i utilized ironic hashtags.

and i won.

cue epic fangirling.

so on monday, i left work early to go hang out with taylor. only i didn't know i'd be hanging out with taylor. all i knew was i was one of 89 people (chosen out of 5000) spending seven and a half hours together. what happened was seriously better than anything i could have imagined. 

we went to the abc studios for the yahoo live stream. i sat in the front row. err, couch. and i was four feet away from Taylor at any given time.

see here.

that's me in the background, generally freaking out.

yeah, that happened. do i look ridiculous? yes. do i care? nah.cuz, oh yeah, i met taylor swift.

#photosoritdidnthappen

she's gorgeous. it was awesome. the song was great. #FLAWLESS oh, and then we danced together. as in, she came up and we shimmied. there is photographic proof!

(thanks, laura) (though we can work on quality later)

and if you think that's enough to last a lifetime, you'd be right. i could have died and been happy. i could have been shepherded out and still raved about how great it was. but instead, the following happened. all of which is true, none of which is exaggerated, all of which i still don't believe.

so now let's start a segment i call according to taylor.

"this is the a-team right here."
referencing us on GMA. because she says she handpicked us as the ones who are at the forefront, championing her music without even knowing her. none of us had met her before and she wanted to bring us together. myself included. all i can say is...wut?

"i thought we could go somewhere and eat some pizza. how does that sound?"
/screaming
she does some interviews (i'm on GMA, ma!) and we're shepherded onto buses headed to some undisclosed destination. at this point, we're all in breathless shock over what just happened. i get some sort of speaking disorder that won't let me say anything other than "i danced with taylor. i danced with taylor." which is, you know, fine by me.
and then we pull into TriBeCa. and we park in front of her house. and we all start freaking out. and we're standing in her hallway, climbing her stairwell and i'm like...there's no way this is happening.

"thank you so much for coming!"
oh, the pleasure's all mine, taylor.
she's standing barefoot in her gorgeous foyer, featuring huge mirrors and vintage birdcages and large black and white prints of her and her fabulous friends -- including one of ed sheeran managing to flip the camera off in such an adorable way.

she hugged me. and basic english escaped me. i was quiet and mesmerized and i just wanted to be close to her (#notacreep). it's just...everything. her cats make me want to be a cat person. her apartment makes me believe in the power of exposed beams and dark leather.

i used her bathroom. this is not a drill. the one with the gilded mirrors and red walls. the one hidden in a wall behind her piano. her piano! the one i almost played chopsticks on.

"did everyone gets something to eat?"
we stood in her kitchen and watcher her eat. like a Discovery Channel special, we just couldn't look away. and she pretended it was normal, 89 people pressed around her, like she was used to having an audience for everything.

"who wants a coke?" 
she looks straight into my soul. i just want to say yes. so i raise my hand, make eye contact. she asks me "diet or regular." and then she passes me one. as in, taylor swift handed me a coke.

the only thing going through my head at this moment: is this real life?

"is my song on the radio?"
we all heard it, the new, catchy, sugary, wonderful shake it off and she ran across the kitchen to turn the volume up. and then we danced. we had a dance party with taylor swift in her kitchen. and it was flawless.

"let's go take polaroids. grab the grammys"
she had four or five grammys scattered around her living room. along with a gma and a cma ("this one is just," eye roll "whatever"). we all press around her, too excited to act normal. and everyones pushing to hold a grammy and to get a picture we were promised would be emailed to us.

"thank you so much, kind soul who did that"
because, oh yeah, i fixed taylor swift's tag. why not, right? i mean, we're besties now and that's what besties do. so, yeah, when i was standing behind her and i saw her tag sticking out of her dress, i just reached out and fixed it. and she turned around to say thank you. and we made eye contact. and i smiled bashfully. and she thanked me. and i didn't know what to say. because basic manners escaped me.
i did hear someone behind me exclaim in sweet, flabbergasted jealousy "she just fixed her tag!"
i thought whoa, that was a special moment there.

"have you held my grammy yet?"
this is not a euphemism. she asks me directly -- immediately after the tongue-tied, tag-fixing debacle. and then she hands me her grammy like it's the most normal thing in the world and i almost die, hugging her again for a photo.

"well, see you around."
we were all saying goodbye as she gave us goodie bags filled with merchandise. she took the time to say bye one-by-one, hugging us one last time. and as she thanked me for coming and i giggling, thanked her for having me, i admitted it was my one-year anniversary in the city coming up. and she held my arms and made her classic shock-and-awe face and told me "oh my gosh i did not know that! that is so amazing!" we bonded over a love of fall and the promise of pumpkin spice lattes.
and as i finally started to leave (awkwardly, always awkwardly), she smiled and sort of shrugged and said "well, see you around."

there were finger guns fired. and i DIED.

so, there you have it. the absolutely 100% totally true story of my night with taylor swift. i have no idea how that happened, and i really still can't believe it did. but there we are, just me and taylor, kicking back since 2014. you know, nbd*.

*jk. bd. lol.

manic monday

i have a very restless mind. seriously, i should probably learn to meditate because at the speed my brain is running i'm getting exhausted trying to keep up. but this summer has been RICH (is that a thing?) and i'm excited about everything i've done, am doing, and will do. cuz, you know, #life.

so. since i'm bored. and it's a monday. and i couldn't sleep last night cuz my mind was going a mile a minute (that, and my sunburn). and i just like to talk. and blogging is like talking. so, since all of that, here's a little of what's been on my mind. and is on my mind. and is better than working on monday.

fresh on the mind: i saw this one-woman show called "the other mozart" which is the true story of Mozart's forgotten sister, also a musical prodigy who wasn't allowed to be anything because #sexism. it was a really beautiful, tragic, funny story that should definitely be a movie and told everywhere because it was just that awesome. and i can't stop thinking about it. 

most anticipated summer movie: dawn of the planet of the apes. i hate it, but i secretly love it and i just have to see it, okay? so that will be happening.

best thing since sliced bread: tater tots. i'm seriously obsessed and i may need to get some immediately...

the final countdown: laura is coming back to me, finally and forever. she'll be in the US of A august 2nd and in my neck of the woods a couple weeks later. i plan on introducing her to the world through a carefully detailed plot known as Operation: Reintegrate Laura.

favorite book of the summer: this is not a test by courtney summers. it's a book about the zombie apocalypse, but it's not a zombie book per se. it's actually super thought provoking and eery and immediately absorbing. so just read it. cuz i said so.

constant obsession: shorts. always and forever. i just...i love shorts (sorry, ma). my friend thinks she's never seen me wear the same shorts twice. this is an exaggeration but...maybe only a little. no judgment.

best summer tune: come with me now by the kongos. i listen to it too much. but, hey, it's better than fancy (lol jk i listen to that one too)

what i wish i could watch: jurassic park. that movie is everything. and it would be even more everything if i could watch it outdoors on the big screen with hundreds of other people who just get it. sigh. a girl can dream.

best summer snack: i am always in the mood for potato chips. just plain, greasy potato chips. it's revolting and i hate myself, but i crave them like a pregnant woman craves bath salts: it doesn't make sense, but you just can't resist.  

midsummer, looking forward: well, there's malta #duh, but that's in september so maybe it doesn't count? if it doesn't, i would definitely say i'm super stoked on laura coming out here. there will be jimmy fallon (fingers crossed), karaoke (lol still do that without her), maybe a paly (i've actually yet to go to a broadway musical...), and lots of food (classic). she better be normal...

midsummer, looking back: i think the best time i've had this summer so far is just sunshine with friends. whether it's philly (the worst) or Rockaway beach (so so) or the hamptons (yaaassss), i've had a lot of good days and i can't even begin to describe how happy that makes me. i feel absolutely liberated, which i know sounds dramatic but, hey, it's me talking. so there's that.

it's been good so far--nay, great. and even though i can't believe it's already mid-july (what?!) i can't wait for what's coming...whatever that may be.

dun dun dun? 

city of brotherly love

the one (and only, if i can help it) time i went to philly was a pretty memorable one. see my last post if you don't believe me. but i can't pretend it wasn't fun. well, funny? unforgettable? exciting? i can't quite decide on the right adjective. things went down. that's for sure.

the good. 

it was a beautiful weekend. the sun was out, the sky was blue, the wind kept up on our toes. we were wearing red, white and blue; stars and stripes. i brought my picnic blanket and we had a good time playing games, doing photo shoots, asking stupid/epic would you rather questions, throwing peanut m&ms, and gorging ourselves in a manner befitting an american holiday. 

and then the next day we played tourist. and old town philadelphia is beautiful. the old buildings, the cobblestone roads, the big trees, the horse-drawn carriages of the not-amish. it felt very american. and we definitely enjoyed the backdrop of independence hall. 

and perks of having your bag stolen? bypassing the long security lines. all they ask is "twirl, please." and twirl i did. plus, i got good jumping practice with all our old-timey jumping pictures. 

nailed it. 

we looked good.

and like any good group of twenty-somethings, we danced just right on the line between immature and enthusiastic. so when we found ourselves in front of independence hall, i wanted a picture of me at the front door. because why not? and also duh. so i skipped up the steps and thought lol what if i knock? so i knocked. i made a big show of it, tried opening the front door, pushed down the nob and everything. as you can see, it's been documented.

and then as i walked away, skipping back down the stairs to everyone else chilling in the shade, the doorknob starts rattling and i watch in surprise as this old security guard opens the doors and looks around confused. we start busting up laughing as she comes out to check for...someone. but i wasn't gonna raise my hand. we just laughed, she went back in, and that was the time i doorbell ditched independence hall. 

it's probably the greatest thing i've ever done. 

the bad. 

turns out hotel management don't like letting people into their prepaid rooms if they don't have the credit card to prove they are the ones who prepaid it. #respect, i get it. but waiting for twenty minutes at 2 in the morning for a grumpy manager to grudgingly hand me the keys aint so fun. "DON'T charge anything to your room," they say. and i'm like, please, we ordered in our own pizza, duh. 

well, we were happy to get out of there come morning. so happy we were jumping for joy. 

literally. 

only problem? we decided in the elevator was the best time to click our heels up. allison was like "jump on three" and 80% of us followed orders. one. two. three. crash. 

the elevator stopped moving and we stopped laughing. 

for about a second. 

half of us thought it was hilarious; the other half, not so much. but we were in stitches, giggling over, one, the tension; two, the fact that it actually happened; three, that of course it happened in philly; four, that we were literally stuck in the elevator. i was slightly panicked we'd be charged some fee--like they have a "you break it you buy it" elevator policy in place. but we made the best of a bad situation by 1) laughing 2) giggling behind our hands when people got annoyed we were actually laughing and 3) taking elevator selfies. (but first, let me take a selfie...)

so how many people does it take to break an elevator? nine. it takes nine. also, allison is the guilty looking one in the top right corner. we blame her. 

when they finally came to open the doors (ten minutes later), we were trying to corroborate a story. just in case. but they forced open the doors--and we'd only made it three feet down the floor--so we just climbed out. they had a worker on hand who started apologizing profusely. like "we are soooo sorry this happened to you. i am sooo sorry. do you need anything? can we do anything for you?" and we just booked it out of there, like, "no worries, we're good. byeee!!" 

"sorry for breaking your elevator" was not mentioned. 

here's them rescuing us. she looks like superwoman and we appreciated it.

the ugly. 

see this post. and imagine me crying with a stuffy nose. the amounts of snot that came blubbering out of me was not insignificant. also, the after photos of my cry face are pretty horrific. we won't show you pictures.  but, hey, the fireworks were awesome. the show was great. and the company was sweet. so i can't complain*  (*but i will). 

the end. 

so philly got a place in my heart, that's for sure. a dark, sad, diseased part of my heart where i store only the most hateful memories. but, hey, it left it's mark. it was a city i knew i wouldn't like, so it made sure that i would not like it the most. Philly: 1532650 Shelby: 0. 

i still feel pretty victorious. i mean, hello, my name is shelby and i survived a weekend in philly. unscathed, no. but stronger. you can't keep me down.

Taken.

Things that make the fourth fun?
Stars and Stripes. Neil Diamond. Grilled meat. Fruit. Fireworks. General Gluttony.  

Things that make the fourth not fun? 

Getting your purse stolen. 

Yeah, turns out that's a real buzz kill. 

Philly is a real son of a...well, you can imagine. 

There I was, minding my own business, pumped on life. Sure, my original plan had been Boston. But Hurricane Arthur had other plans, managing to opposite-of-postpone the fourth of July spectacular. So my group of friends regrouped and decided on Philly. 

First mistake. 

And we all can guess what happens next. I went off to enjoy the concert, leaving my bag with the group. There were a bunch of bags there, someone in the group was always there. So let's not lay blame; it was just one second  and my bag was taken. Could have been anyone's. It just happened to be mine. 

For a minute I believe that maybe I can find it, that maybe it was buried somewhere and it will just be one of those New Era stories where if I only pray hard enough or sing some hymn, some guilty thief would return my bag to me. 

It didn't happen. 

And after some denial and definitely after some begging, I faced the music and decided there were certain things that needed done. So I called my bank. 

Well, first, let's be real: I hyperventilated hard core. Mostly because I still have the stuffiest nose, so breathing is already hard. So, yeah, I cried. And it got ugly. 

But then I called the bank. 

My credit card company. 

My other credit card company. 

And the other one. 

Turns out, my card was used for gas and a dollar candy at the convenience store. 

Which is just rude: not only did I have a thief, but I had an uncreative one at best. Twenty-five on gas? That's the best you can do? Dream a little bigger, darling. 

It kinda sucks, feeling the rug pulled out from under you and having no real idea how to go about picking up the pieces. I mean, I have no money--and this came after two unforeseen medical bills that already put me in the red zone financially. They took my keys, my metro card, my ID...not to mention my favorite wallet and my best deck of cards (also metro cards) and my key chain from Paris. My tissues (which would have come in handy with all the crying and snot blowing that was happening) and $25 and my headphones and Chapstick and--

MY TWENTY BAGS OF FRUIT SNACKS!!! 

Let's be real. That's probably why they stole it in the first place; I literally made it irresistible. Welchs fruit snacks by the dozen. mmm. Can I really blame them? 

Answer: yes, yes, I can. And I wish I had the opportunity to knee him/her/them in the balls while shouting some major profanities because WTF douchebag?! Who ruins Americas day for a lousy $20? You're the worst and your city can just suck it. 

I've had enough of your crap, Philly! 

It was pretty traumatic but I dealt. They only had an hour before I managed to cancel all my cards and alert the banks. So there. I still got to go and listen to Nicki Minaj and Ed Sheeran KILL IT. And then I watched the coolest most expensive fireworks show because #muhrica  So all in all it was a good night. 

...And also a no good dirty awful night that I will never forget. 

You win some, you lose some. And I lost. Big time. 

But, hey, I absolutely love and adore philly! Absolutely nothing can turn me against it! 

(This is a major lie. Philly is the worst.)

So much for brotherly love, #amiright 

hey, batter batter

as anyone who knows me knows, i am a huge sports fan.

i am also a huge liar.

note: only one of these things is true.

but seeing as i'm in new york (living the dream!!!) i knew it was time to take me-self out to the ballgame. yankee style.

(you should know i bleed blue)

all joking aside, i really don't think there's anything that feels more like summer than (fake) green grass and a baseball diamond. this may be due to an array of nostalgic baseball films i was inundated with as a kid. angels in the outfield, anyone? but seriously. is there a sport more represented in cheesy/disney films than baseball? and why not, right?

i love everything about it. the cheesy organ music! the snarky song choices when anyone screws up! the chanting! the clapping! the baseball caps and tees! the hot dogs! the seventh inning stretch! the bright outdoors! the smell of fake grass! just the laidbackness of it all.  it feels a) american, so b) it's awesome.

some people think it's boring. to them i say...have you watched football?

but last night was splendid. the sun was beating down on us, the sweat was pooling, the drunks were getting drunker. and yet...everything was perfect.

it all happened cuz earlier last week some friends decided they wanted to go -- and i bullied my way into an invite -- and then we got an entire group to rally. twenty-four people came and the yankees conquered. coincidence? i think not. just look at our team spirit!

note: turns out i'm horrible at taking pictures (and may also be a narcissist) so i failed to get photos of everyone who came. #mybad but i know my awesome night was thanks to all 24 awesome people who came. #blessed

ah, summer. it's enough to make a girl who doesn't like sports suddenly want to go to every game, but maybe that's just because she bought a hat and she has to get her money's worth in and, you know, blue's her color and new york is her city so she's all in it for the yankees because that's only fair.

let's go with that.