spring has sprung

i think i suffer from seasonal depression. because that winter was really getting me down. march was rough. full of emotional and mental crises. and bitterly cold weather. but then the first sunny day hit and it was like a light came on. such sweet relief!

and i celebrated by doing what i do best: repeating history. so when spring hit and blossoms bloomed, a group of friends and i decided to drive down to dc an see the cherry blossoms in our great nation's capital.

and also cafe rio.

even with a four hour drive that turned close to six, crowds that made times square feel quaint, and cafe rio that let me down, it was still a great trip. the sun was out, the magnolias were bright, the monuments all glistened, and the photo opportunities were ripe. so i was happy. me with my selfie stick and narcissistic need to document everything.

to those with me, you're welcome. to those who find it annoying, well...you're about to hate this blog post.

 

these magnolias are my favorite. like, these in particular. because they photograph so well. and also magnolias = steel magnolias = "drink your juice, shelby" = shelby = me = #hairtoss

my photographer didn't really understand the crucial role he had in making it look like i was touching the tip of the washington monument. amateurs. ps i love playing tourist (shocker, i know). but why not have enthusiasm for the place you're visiting? what's so embarrassing about doing stupid things for the sake of having fun? can you ever actually be too cool for a monument mind trick? no, no you cannot. you just need to choose your photographers more carefully.   

these girls. we may act crazy, but these girls totally keep me sane. the one real mystery of the universe is how have we only been friends for less than a year? not to get all sappy, but let's get all sappy: i can't imagine life without them. just like i wouldn't survive long car rides without them. and i go crazy when i lose them in crowds. and also all my regrets about this trip revolve solely around not getting more pictures with them. because, hello, look at us. the world needs more of this. 

 

mirror selfies are the best selfies. ask anyone. add a sunset and it's basically a masterpiece.

even in dc we have to stand our ground. cuz, sorry, dc, imma let you have your blossoms, but new york is the greatest city of all time. all time.

so there you have it. another dc adventure ripe with fruit snacks and cafe rio and...a lot of 40s music tbh. i got loaded up on vitamin d. my selfie stick got a good work out (not a euphemism). and life was literally all sunshine and flowers.

i'm really grateful to not be wearing down coats anymore, running from indoor activity to indoor activity, freezing all the while. i'm glad to feel the sun on my skin and hopefully begin turning a less frightening shade of white. i like being young and wild and free enough to think a day trip to dc sounded like fun. i feel #blessed to have the friends i do. and i'm more than fulfilled by the amount of dogs i saw on this trip. so huzzah for springtime / summer. i feel better already. 

travel bug

going to malta maybe changed my life. and i know i haven't talked about it here, mostly because i've beaten it over the head of anyone who interacts with me or my facebook. and it's a little late to write up a post about just how AWE-some malta was. but i don't even care. because, yes, malta was beautiful and interesting and diverse and it was liberating being there on my own terms and i definitely want to go back (really). but more than anything malta just made me realize...there's so much more i want to see.

this world is so big and vast and beautiful. it's indescribable and different. every corner, crack, and cranny holds something amazing. i loved every second of being lost in something so beyond me. no one there knew who i was (aside from my wonderful travel buddy). but what i mean is...no one had any idea who shelby was, what concerns and worries i felt shadowed or bogged down by. my problems weren't theirs. my dreams weren't theirs. i was merely a face in the crowd of their lives.

it was so absolutely freeing.

we can be pretty selfish people. and with good reason. (mostly.) i mean, this is our life--we only get one shot. we need to be concerned about us and what makes us happy and what gives our lives value. it's right to be aware of oneself. but it was also nice to be reminded that even if my life revolved around me, the whole world, in fact, did not. life in malta went on. life in new york went on. i just totally stepped out of it for a week, caught in the current of everyone else's orbits.

i think there's a reason people say they caught the travel bug or they suffer from wanderlust. because it does feel like a disease. something beyond your control. something that just happens and takes you and changes things. five years ago i thought there were only five places on earth i cared to see. i wanted to see new york, london, paris, italy, and egypt. that's all. i didn't get why i had to travel to appreciate the world. i had books! i had the internet! i had pictures! i didn't feel drawn to any place outside of my (very small) comfort zone.

well, that changed.

i went to london. then paris. i realized the world is pretty cool and maybe it would be fun to see more of it, but no big deal.

then i moved to new york. and i realized moving, going, seeing...it changes you. and i thought how amazing it was to be at this international hub with thousands of people coming and going. i wanted to be one of those people.

and then i went to malta. i rushed through istanbul. and i realized there's a big world out there and i'm desperate to see it all. if only to know what more it can do to me.

and this has all taught me three things: 1) travel changes you. it makes me feel strong, capable, brave. 2) traveling gets easier (no more throwing up on planes!) and so much more fun, and growing up is grand--i mean, look at how tiny and young i look in london compared to istanbul. is it just me? 3) I MUST SEE ALL THE PLACES!

i keep a list of travel destinations on my phone. just places i've always wanted to see or places i hear about or pictures i see and think "that looks amazing." and it's getting lengthy. and i get too excited about each one. and i'm already eager to plan my next trip. but the real question is...where?

i want to see...
new orleans
key west
boston
chicago
nashville
charleston
savannah
seattle
williamsburg
kauai (jp!!)
maine
virginia
alaska
the grand canyon
niagara falls

i want to go to...
the french riviera
vietnam
greece
egypt
spain
monaco
new zealand
iceland
morocco
italy
croatia
india
belize
bali
turkey
switzerland
amsterdam
bermuda
marseille
mexico
sweden
jamaica
portugal
vienna
caribbean
prague

i thought i could make a "30 before 30" travel list, but there's too many places i want to see. and so many different ways i want to see it all. one could say i'm young and restless. but i think that's okay. and even right. life shouldn't feel settled already. I'm barely 23, i have my whole life ahead of me, and, hey, i can sleep when i'm dead.

i've realized the world is my oyster and i really can do whatever i want because...it is my life. and that is such a scary, amazing, freeing thought. so i've seen bits of the world. i wouldn't call myself well-traveled or wordly. but i wish i was. because what i've seen so far amazes me. and it's changed me. i feel more capable, more brave, more me than i ever felt. i like who i've become and the openendedness of who i can yet be. and maybe that's dramatic and maybe life will get me down and i'll never see another place again. (knock on wood). but more and more my life's mantra can be summed up to simply "Life Wholly Lived."

i want a life of adventure. i want a world of discovery. i want immersion and escape. i want to feel and see and do and be. in the pages of this world and all its diversity, i want to find me. 

so...here's to that. vacations, amiright?

city of brotherly love

the one (and only, if i can help it) time i went to philly was a pretty memorable one. see my last post if you don't believe me. but i can't pretend it wasn't fun. well, funny? unforgettable? exciting? i can't quite decide on the right adjective. things went down. that's for sure.

the good. 

it was a beautiful weekend. the sun was out, the sky was blue, the wind kept up on our toes. we were wearing red, white and blue; stars and stripes. i brought my picnic blanket and we had a good time playing games, doing photo shoots, asking stupid/epic would you rather questions, throwing peanut m&ms, and gorging ourselves in a manner befitting an american holiday. 

and then the next day we played tourist. and old town philadelphia is beautiful. the old buildings, the cobblestone roads, the big trees, the horse-drawn carriages of the not-amish. it felt very american. and we definitely enjoyed the backdrop of independence hall. 

and perks of having your bag stolen? bypassing the long security lines. all they ask is "twirl, please." and twirl i did. plus, i got good jumping practice with all our old-timey jumping pictures. 

nailed it. 

we looked good.

and like any good group of twenty-somethings, we danced just right on the line between immature and enthusiastic. so when we found ourselves in front of independence hall, i wanted a picture of me at the front door. because why not? and also duh. so i skipped up the steps and thought lol what if i knock? so i knocked. i made a big show of it, tried opening the front door, pushed down the nob and everything. as you can see, it's been documented.

and then as i walked away, skipping back down the stairs to everyone else chilling in the shade, the doorknob starts rattling and i watch in surprise as this old security guard opens the doors and looks around confused. we start busting up laughing as she comes out to check for...someone. but i wasn't gonna raise my hand. we just laughed, she went back in, and that was the time i doorbell ditched independence hall. 

it's probably the greatest thing i've ever done. 

the bad. 

turns out hotel management don't like letting people into their prepaid rooms if they don't have the credit card to prove they are the ones who prepaid it. #respect, i get it. but waiting for twenty minutes at 2 in the morning for a grumpy manager to grudgingly hand me the keys aint so fun. "DON'T charge anything to your room," they say. and i'm like, please, we ordered in our own pizza, duh. 

well, we were happy to get out of there come morning. so happy we were jumping for joy. 

literally. 

only problem? we decided in the elevator was the best time to click our heels up. allison was like "jump on three" and 80% of us followed orders. one. two. three. crash. 

the elevator stopped moving and we stopped laughing. 

for about a second. 

half of us thought it was hilarious; the other half, not so much. but we were in stitches, giggling over, one, the tension; two, the fact that it actually happened; three, that of course it happened in philly; four, that we were literally stuck in the elevator. i was slightly panicked we'd be charged some fee--like they have a "you break it you buy it" elevator policy in place. but we made the best of a bad situation by 1) laughing 2) giggling behind our hands when people got annoyed we were actually laughing and 3) taking elevator selfies. (but first, let me take a selfie...)

so how many people does it take to break an elevator? nine. it takes nine. also, allison is the guilty looking one in the top right corner. we blame her. 

when they finally came to open the doors (ten minutes later), we were trying to corroborate a story. just in case. but they forced open the doors--and we'd only made it three feet down the floor--so we just climbed out. they had a worker on hand who started apologizing profusely. like "we are soooo sorry this happened to you. i am sooo sorry. do you need anything? can we do anything for you?" and we just booked it out of there, like, "no worries, we're good. byeee!!" 

"sorry for breaking your elevator" was not mentioned. 

here's them rescuing us. she looks like superwoman and we appreciated it.

the ugly. 

see this post. and imagine me crying with a stuffy nose. the amounts of snot that came blubbering out of me was not insignificant. also, the after photos of my cry face are pretty horrific. we won't show you pictures.  but, hey, the fireworks were awesome. the show was great. and the company was sweet. so i can't complain*  (*but i will). 

the end. 

so philly got a place in my heart, that's for sure. a dark, sad, diseased part of my heart where i store only the most hateful memories. but, hey, it left it's mark. it was a city i knew i wouldn't like, so it made sure that i would not like it the most. Philly: 1532650 Shelby: 0. 

i still feel pretty victorious. i mean, hello, my name is shelby and i survived a weekend in philly. unscathed, no. but stronger. you can't keep me down.

#tbt

Throwback to that time I was in DC and life was literally all sunshine and roses--well, blossoms anyway.

And I was sitting on a bench minding my own business...

Well, let's just tell the story. It starts basically here:

so once upon a time I was sitting on a bench under the magnolia trees posing for Casey, because #obvs (if you follow me on facebook, you know how these turned out--and they were fabulous). suddenly, this Asian couple comes up and the woman just sits down on the bench impressively close to me. my groove was definitely thrown off, but i'm flexible (in a purely metaphorical sense).

well, the man gets in photo-taking position and, waving wildly at me, he goes "picture? picture?" knowing the beauty of the background, I understandingly stand to move. but the man shakes his hand--wildly again--and is like "no no. with you. stay stay!"

whaaaaaat is happening?

at this point, I don't even know what to do. my compatriots are laughing at me. the Asians ask casey to sit too, but she refuses (racist.). and i'm just hanging out on this bench wondering what the proper etiquette is. do I get closer? do I smile at the camera? do I make it a Kodak moment and look away? am I supposed to sidle up to the woman so we look like friends?

no clue.

so I basically plaster something to my face--something between a smile and a grimace, with just a hint of a guffaw.

they got their picture. said thanks. I said you're welcome? and then they were gone. maybe I look famous. maybe my winter whiteness was such a novelty. maybe they saw my self-directed photo shoot so just assumed I was important. or maybe they just really wanted an authentic catalogue of their every moment in dc.

in any case, there is a photo of me uncomfortable and awkward floating out there. 

well, let's be real, that's nothing new (see above).