no take backs

so i have a work bio now. because I'm legit. or I try to be. and you can visit the website here and gawk at how official i am. or just read on. 

because it goes a little something like this:

Shelby Boyer joined the agency in 2014 working as an assistant to Stephanie Rostan and Jim Levine. After a life spent rambling about the perks of being a part of the Harry Potter Generation and discussing the finer points of Jurassic Park, she now considers her job her favorite thing to talk about.

That, or where one can find the greatest doughnuts in the city. (answer: dough)

A Midwest transplant, Shelby grew up in a small town always dreaming of bigger things—and better food. With a penchant for overanalyzing every book her parents ever bought her and a pesky habit of editing friends’ late-night texts, she set her sights on a career in publishing. After earning a degree in English and editing, she bought a one-way ticket to New York, bullying her way into internships and interviews until she got her chance at Levine Greenberg. Now happily settled, she relishes calling herself a New Yorker, eating pizza like one, and posting fancy pictures on Instagram to make everyone back home jealous.

Her reading habits include old favorites (John Green, Gillian Flynn, and Michael Crichton especially) and plenty of room for new obsessions. But when not reading, Shelby is usually indulging her sweet tooth with a fancy cupcake or oversized cookie or listening to bands floating somewhere between hipster and mainstream.

there you have it! so it's official. and remember folks, you heard it here first: we are now the Levine Greenberg Rostan Literary Agency. if you're at all observant you'll know that this means, most importantly, that I am assisting not one but two principals. because i'm that good.

also important: this announcement (of the name change - congrats, Steph!) means i finally have  business cards with my name on them. i'm considering mailing these to everyone i've ever known (part of a plan I have called "Mission #suckit"). but that can come later. right now, i will relish in my employment being legitimized with my oh-so-serious bio.

what can i say? i'm a regular working girl--erm, woman. just keeping it real.

a week of me!

guys. i'm 23. i know this is equal parts not a big deal and a pretty big deal. i mean, it blows my mind--not because it's old, but because it's a number i've never considered, you know? it's like...what does it mean to be 23? supposedly it's the worst year of your twenties (yay!) but i think it's just one of those forgotten ones. i mean, probably because there is no sugary anthem for it a la 22 (thanks, taylor!). but the point is i wanted to make it memorable. because this last year has been unforgettable. and crazy packed. and oh my gosh i can't believe it's only/already been a year. so i wanted to go out with a bang. and, boy, did i.

this has been my week. i call it such because i have seemingly morphed into a narcissistic attention whore who cannot bear to not have people paying attention to her.

so...nothing new there. lollollol.

but really. it's been a fun and fabulous week full of unexpected moments and some very-much-planned (by me, the most self-indulgent) and flawlessly executed (by my most impressive friends) experiences. so yay for the memories. it has been a FABULOUS week. and since we all know i love a good pat on my own back, i figured i'd share it. so, you're welcome.

thursday
a bunch of us went to karaoke on a thursday night to sing ourselves hoarse. and, you know, to party. it was a parade of Bon Jovi, Taylor Swift, Mariah Carey, Alanis Morisette, Backstreet Boys, and more. nat and i put our girl Celine Dion to shame with a soulful rendition of "It's All Coming Back to Me" (sing it, girl!). that was pretty much a highlight. there were tears shed, it was that beautiful. and then we broke it down to "Empire State of Mind" in the style of my man Jay-Z. nothing like a bunch of white kids singing like they can relate.

but it was so much fun. we met new people, stayed out late.

seriously, nothing makes me feel more grown up than staying out late on a weekday. i know this is childish. which makes the whole thing a paradox. (or is it an oxymoron?)

point is, karaoke = winning.

friday
ramen. creepy parking lots. cookie dough. lbd. turns out, it's all a winning combination.

saturday
i know this is going to blow all y'all's minds, but...I WENT TO AN EARLY SHOWING OF GODZILLA! and it was everything i could have dreamed and more.

through a curious turn of events, my roommate got some press passes to an early showing. because she works for a website that streams korean dramas and because...godzilla is originally asian? i dunno, but i'm not complaining. she heard me rave about it--because, hello, i had fandango set to tell me when tickets went on sell. and i bought them instantly. so she casually mentions that she's going to this movie and invites me along. i of course almost cry. but i keep it together enough to say yes, please and thank you.

and it was awesome. words just.... plus, when you're sitting in a specially reserved seat and given free popcorn and a drink and you get to talking to some guy next to you who's a movie critic so you get to share your love of monster movies and spend a good fifteen minutes discussing the finer points of Jurassic Park--well, if you know me at all, you know that is my definition of heaven.

i was on cloud nine after that.

and the night wasn't even over! because we went dancing again. at that monthly 90s dance party in brooklyn. and it was still the greatest thing ever. 90s music really is all that and a bag of chips. besides what's a more appropriate way to celebrate your birth as a 90s kid than by going to a 90s dance party? answer: absolutely nothing. i got me so marky mark, TLC, destiny's child, Spicegirls. it was a good time.

other highlights of the rather eventful day?
first ice cream cone of the season. from an ice cream truck. and it was delicious. 
more karaoke. but only the female power hitters, so...#feminism
getting caught in a random rain storm so running in to the Gap and "trying on" sweaters as we waited it out. 
getting a gyro just to have it explode all over me. 
watching how many people were willing to go into a starbucks bathroom without tp and commenting on using napkins instead (it was a disgustingly surprising amount).

sunday
I had a mormon hangover from all the late night revelry on saturday. so it was a prettaay lazy day. but there was mac and cheese and cookie dough, which is as good a hangover cure as anything else.

or so i hear.

monday
well, turns out i'm addicted to karaoke. because we went again. and it was oh so fun! some vanessa carlton, smash mouth, and, of course, my girl, Celine. it was another beautiful day.

tuesday
#317 reason i love my job? sometimes they pay for us to go to cool events. this is also a perk of representing cool people. so what did i do on this lovely tuesday evening? we went and saw Nick Offerman and Megan Mullaney's, play, Annapurna. it was crazy/funny and i loved every minute. especially since it culminated in my meeting NICK OFFERMAN. whaaaaaaat! And not in a celebrity/fan sort of way; but in a colleague and peer sort of way. like oh my gosh--he said my name.

my office represents his book, hence going to the play together. and then his agent (my coworker) was like "I'm gonna hang out after to say hi. you guys can if you want." uh, yes please. so i hang out for twenty minutes, shocked as people actually decide it's not worth it, and then there he is, bearded and tall with a voice like butter. he was chatting, being lovely, and then he looks around at all of us and is like "i'm sorry, i don't think i've met all of you." and so he went around to shake hands and say hello. he gets to me and says "i'm nick." and i give him a firm, confident handshake, looking him deep into his soullful eyes (not creepy) and say "I'm Shelby." and he goes "shelby, it's a pleasure to meet you."

whaaaaaaaat! happy birthday to me.

did i consider inviting him to my birthday? or asking for a picture? yes, all of that crossed my mind. but i played it cool. i'm a professional for heaven's sake!!

now, did i freak out a soon as I left? uh, duh. i couldn't stop smiling and I was basically GLOWING just basking in the mere memory of his presence.

plus, you know, the play was amazing too. seriously, an intimate two-person show that was just guttingly emotional, there are no words to describe it. except to say that nick offerman is the greatest and...i still can't believe he said my name. the end.

wednesday
so i don't know if i've made this abundantly clear yet, but...it's my birthday today. claps for me! honestly, i haven't really been a big birthday person before.

well, this isn't true. i love the attention i get on a birthday, and i've had some pretty awesome birthdays (disneyland/world anyone?) what i meant to say is i' haven't really been a big birthday party person. i'm more a please-family-give-me-all-your-attention-for-the-whole-day kind of person. which mostly culminates in a dinner out. but this year i was feeling especially energetic (read: needy) and i wanted to do something to prove life is good out here! so i threw a party (is it gauche to throw one's own party?) and in true shelby fashion (read: gluttonous), we made donuts. tons and tons of donuts.

it was at my place--newly furnished so i looked especially stylish. and we set up a "build your own donut" bar. what is this, you say? only the greatest idea since sliced bread!

this is how we do it. optional pudding cream filling. your choice of glaze. and a plethora of toppings to roll it in.
patent pending.

and to prove i'm even more self-centered than you think, these are the only photos of the night.
so...there's that. but i mean, really, it was because we were too busy having fun to take pictures OBVIOUSLY. and lets be honest, these aren't the most flattering photos of me. unless being photographed in the middle of swallowing a donut whole is flattering.

but we did get in a good after shot.

oh, the gluttony.

but it was a good party. i mean, the food was obviously delicious. the company was wonderful. the energy was palpable. and i couldn't ask for better friends. all joking and self-congratulating aside, it really was a great party. and i felt so happy! so yay for a great year and a great start to a great new year! they sang me happy birthday and i blew out a yankee candle! just keepin it classy.

thursday
and then today is the day. i woke up with a super stiff neck. as in my head feels too heavy for my body. it's a new sensation (maybe I really am old?). it was hard getting up and to work on time, but i managed. and i discovered some perks of being a professional in an established office.

1) you get birthday lunch. yay for free food!
2) they'll buy you donuts for a "surprise" birthday party because they know how much i love them. and while they were worried i'd be donut-ed out from last night's party, i assured them there was no such thing.
3) um, they actually give you really nice gifts. likes about $100 worth of stuff like movie tickets and SPA TREATMENTS. it pays to have friends with money. #justsayin

also, some of my beautiful, lovely family members sent me flowers! and the flower people accidentally doubled the order so i got TWO bouquets! because i'm that special. and all the love i've received via texts and facebook have been truly heartwarming. who knew there were so many puppy birthday memes to be had? (taryn.)

so, thank you. and no matter if or how you contributed to any of the stories raved about here, i love ya! and i love life! yay for being 23! it's been great so far. and the build up wasn't half bad.

and lest you think the week of me is over--as most weeks only last seven days--let me assure you...it's not. because what comes next? THE HAMPTONS LYFE!

stay tuned. 

the manifesto

it's may first. this is significant because...(drum roll please)...it is a week away until my birthday!

but seriously.

this year has been a pretty momentous one. if we're talking may to may, i've seen graduation, moving to new york, struggling to find a job, finding a job, playing at life, etc. if we're talking 2014 alone, well, that's been a whole lot of momentousness that basically culminates in me getting a desk at work (yay!). #winning

but seriously.

i think it's always a good sign when a year feels long and full and hazy. like i've stuffed it with so many experiences, so many changes, that my memory bank can't sort through everything that happened. but it really comes around to one thing, and that's the fact that i really just can't believe how...comfortable i am. i've never felt this way before--this free, this happy, this sincere. it's like the me i was finally came to terms with the me i wanted to be.

but seriously.

and in that vein (of grandiose and cliched) i've been trying to put into words what i've learned or how it's changed. not because i'm perfect. but because i wanted to bottle what i was thinking right now. i wanted to write down and forever remember what i was feeling in this moment--this beautiful, breathless, incredible-in-every-sense-of-the-word moment where life just seems beautiful.

but seriously.

so i wrote a manifesto. it's been quite the ordeal, deciding what i really believed and cared about and valued. but this is what it came to, these certain unalienable truths that i definitely hold to be self-evident. and it goes a little something like this...

THE MANIFESTO

Life wholly lived

That it may be said that I lived a life of passion met with purpose; that I was never merely comfortable or fine or settled, but that I was always seeking more; that I believed in myself and tried my best to always believe in others; that I spent time instead of money, gave everything instead of nothing, collected memories instead of things; that I never gave in to the doldrums of mundanity or the false security of monotony; that money never haunted my motives and achievements never hindered my ambitions; that I always clung to joy even when life wasn’t happy; that I let individuality and not traditionality define success; that I lived always in pursuit of life—that all this and more may be proven true, I hereby lay out these most crucial truths by which I might better LIVE.

You only have one life to be yourself.

Regardless of what the world may expect, suggest, or demand, there is no one right way or one right life. Never lose yourself in an attempt to fit in to a crowd, a group, a culture. Always consider the why instead of simply following the what. Life is too short to live out other people’s expectations, so be yourself. Your desires, hopes, and dreams are always valid. Consider what you need and what god needs of you always before letting others begin to define you. Because you are enough.

Every day is a miracle.

Recognize that every day and every moment is a chance to feel something new. Appreciate every breath—from the quiet moments, the down time, the simple pleasures, to the big, the loud, the brash, the memorable. To become complacent is to risk forgetting what it is to live, so never entertain a mundane thought. Life is hard, so live hard. Be open to adventure and spontaneity. Never settle into a routine. Always seek out new people, new things, new ideas. In other words, live life unabashed.

                                                              

The only way through is up.

Always live life in a forward motion. Challenge yourself to be more. Recognize that you should always be changing, growing, progressing—becoming more—and that the world around you can move with you. People are complex, often inexplicable, and you’ll never really know them or all their intricacies. So why not just believe in them? Life is hard enough; we cannot afford to turn against each other. Believe that people get better, and live each day to try and prove it in turn.

The world is not meant to be small.

Do not get caught up in your own bubble. Familiarity is a beautiful thing, but there is a whole world to discover and explore. Crave the bigness of the world, the liveliness of it. Travel any and everywhere possible. And when you do, go not as a tourist but as a discoverer, an explorer, an adventurer. Taste the world from a new perspective. Be there as a witness and participant, never just passing through. Remember, we only have this world for one life. Don’t waste it.

All that glitters is, in fact, not gold.

Remember that money is fleeting and things don’t last. Cost and worth are two very different things—understand the difference. Never let things become everything. Yes, responsibilities are real and certain opportunities cannot be met without certain sacrifices. But the sacrifice should never be living. Wisdom must win, but don’t hold off on the life you want. Money and the weight it carries is not everything the world would have you believe; use it in ways that matter to you.

Dreams are never just dreams.

People will tell you that dreams, by their very definition, are unattainable. But hard work always pays off. Faith and trust are the endless motivators. And dreams are all we have, so live for them—spend every waking moment desperate to find, know, and fulfill them. Life is about going hard and giving it your all. Remember, safety is not guaranteed. To just get by will never cut it. So whether or not the dream happens or it changes, the pursuit will never be a waste.

it's gonna be mey

it's almost my birthday! which makes it almost the greatest time of year! which is doubly true because it's almost may! so on this the first of the month of me--err, i mean may--i thought it would be appropriate to celebrate all things awesome.

*aka things that just happen to be on my brain right this second. as this is the most random post i've ever written.

one, my job. i haven't been fired yet, which i view as a major success. in fact, i have finally been given a desk. what! moving up in the world, i know. after months (has it really been motnhs??) of moving around playing some variation of musical chairs, i've been given a beautiful new desk. and i feel oh-so-good about this.

two, this month! oh my goodness oh my goodness! the things i have planned! karaoke! dancing! donuts! montauk! godzilla! it doesn't get better than this.

three, the weather is (sort of) getting better. after the winter from HELL, i finally put my coat away and i'm usually fine about this. sure, it's pouring rain at a miserable 45 degrees. but did i let that stop me from buying summer shorts? no! did i let that stop me from setting an appointment for a summer haircut? no! take back the weather, guys! show mother nature who is boss!

* just kidding, mama nature. i respect your power and might and bow down to your will, only praying and pleading that that might come to include anything above the 70s

four, it's almost my birthday! on may 8, i'll be 23. which is equal parts so totally young and surprisingly old. i mean, not old old. but...it's a big number. especially considering my mind still hasn't rebooted from that whole big step of going to college at 18. sometimes i forget how old i am. as in...i just don't consider it. like, not that i think i'm still 18 or that i should be 25. just that i feel nondescript about it. and then when i have to actually think about it, i find myself surprised. 23?! but even in those moments i'm unable to decide if that seems younger or older than i expected. such is life.

five, i watched the newest trailer for The Fault In Our Stars and, yeah, i still cry. in the trailer. which makes me soooooo excited for the movie! there's an early showing this weekend (as in a month early) that i'm determined to go to. please? pretty please, universe? it's my birthday! #itsgonnabemey

six, i'm really starting to run out of things to say. but i am just so happy and high on lyyyfe that i feel like i can't stop.

seven, see six again. also, i don't like even numbers.

so there. that's a catch up on life. and an introduction to the greatest month full of the most fabulous adventures! so expect more. lots more. cuz it only goes up from here.

*hopefully.

#tbt

Throwback to that time I was in DC and life was literally all sunshine and roses--well, blossoms anyway.

And I was sitting on a bench minding my own business...

Well, let's just tell the story. It starts basically here:

so once upon a time I was sitting on a bench under the magnolia trees posing for Casey, because #obvs (if you follow me on facebook, you know how these turned out--and they were fabulous). suddenly, this Asian couple comes up and the woman just sits down on the bench impressively close to me. my groove was definitely thrown off, but i'm flexible (in a purely metaphorical sense).

well, the man gets in photo-taking position and, waving wildly at me, he goes "picture? picture?" knowing the beauty of the background, I understandingly stand to move. but the man shakes his hand--wildly again--and is like "no no. with you. stay stay!"

whaaaaaat is happening?

at this point, I don't even know what to do. my compatriots are laughing at me. the Asians ask casey to sit too, but she refuses (racist.). and i'm just hanging out on this bench wondering what the proper etiquette is. do I get closer? do I smile at the camera? do I make it a Kodak moment and look away? am I supposed to sidle up to the woman so we look like friends?

no clue.

so I basically plaster something to my face--something between a smile and a grimace, with just a hint of a guffaw.

they got their picture. said thanks. I said you're welcome? and then they were gone. maybe I look famous. maybe my winter whiteness was such a novelty. maybe they saw my self-directed photo shoot so just assumed I was important. or maybe they just really wanted an authentic catalogue of their every moment in dc.

in any case, there is a photo of me uncomfortable and awkward floating out there. 

well, let's be real, that's nothing new (see above).   

when a line hits you right in the heart.

i saw the most beautiful poem today. just on a scrap of paper, forgettable amongst the pretty postcards and flyers it was pinned by. and i don't really like poetry. i'm too impatient to really read it. or consider it. or think about it. or care. but i think i just found my most favorite poem in the history of all poems (step aside, dr. seuss).

perfection wasted. by john updike.

And another regrettable thing about death
is the ceasing of your own brand of magic,
which took a whole life to develop and market —
the quips, the witticisms, the slant
adjusted to a few, those loved ones nearest
the lip of the stage, their soft faces blanched
in the footlight glow, their laughter close to tears,
their tears confused with their diamond earrings,
their warm pooled breath in and out with your heartbeat,
their response and your performance twinned.
The jokes over the phone. The memories packed
in the rapid-access file. The whole act.
Who will do it again? That's it: no one;
imitators and descendants aren't the same.

 
life is too short, guys. don't make it forgettable. yolo. (this last line is not part of the poem. in case you were wondering.)

secondhand high

first I'd like to say, ma...i now know what pot smells like. 

i went and saw a concert on thursday. for no reason other than i feel like it and #yolo and lazy sunday's leads to spontaneous purchases. i mean, it was grouplove. which, i love a lot of their stuff. if by a lot i can mean the four songs i do know. and it was at some hip new york venue. which, as it turns out, isn't that hip for new york. but it impressed the small town utah girl in me (ugh. i can't believe i just identified as a utahn. never again).

but no regrets. because it was awesome.

a new yorkers reality of an indie rock concert on a thursday night?
show up late--maybe halfway through the second opener. throw back a couple beers. then a couple more. just so your speech is perfectly slurred as you wobble around singing (sort of?) along to the music stopping to say things like "god, i f'ing love this SOOOOONG!" be escorted out by your girlfriend when you nearly barf. light up. throw empty beer cups into the crowd. realize they're not entirely empty. curse your luck but go back to screaming, pulsing, dancing, yelling. rave.

my reality of an indie rock concert on a thursday night?
arrive on time. even maybe a little early. as in before the first act even sets up. because, hello, i paid for the whole show. enjoy each act as they get progressively awesomer. geek out when the disco ball is lit up just as the beat drops. laugh at the people recording every song even though the alcohol is already making it hard for them to hold the phone steady. wonder when they turned the fog machine on. realize everyone's just completely high. watch everyone light up, no shame, puffs of smoke filling the air from below. sidestep drunk girls trying to get up on me. enjoy the music. like, epically so.

it was a good night.

Smallpools opened. they were pretty much awesome. listen to dreaming. wish it was summer.

wait half an hour for a set change. then MSMR came out. they killed it. i mean, look at how epic.   

 

check them out. dance yrself clean cover--love it. also, hurricane. 

and then GROUPLOVE. you know it's legit when the band files out to dubstepit would be legit when they came out to dubstep wearing LED hoodies carrying glow in the dark drum sticks. and then they dropped the beat and i would be forever changed.  

so i loved the songs i did know. tongue tied, colours, ways to go (talk about a summer song), itchin' on a photograph. and then i loved pretty much everything else. they are...crazy. slow was stunning. bitin' the bullet was probably my favorite of the night. totally slaughtered it.and then literally dropped the mic and walked away. because, hello, that stage got OWNED.

 

i tried to capture all their glory. but an iphone just doesn't cut it. i guess you just had to be there. ...but i shall gloat nonetheless!

 

it was seriously so fun. and crazy. and dizzyingly cloudy with all that weed--err, smoke/fog. and, yeah, everyone was wasted and high--on life, duuuuuh. and the floors were sticky with alcohol. and i was covered with beer. and i definitely smelt like...something after. but it was so fun!

even if i did do it the whitebread, mormon girl, clean cut kind of way. 

and i went to a cheese and wine shop after. so...just keepin it classy. all night long.